Mar 28: Stress Relief

It has been a difficult week. Started with arguments and anger with clusters of seizures (and 2 doc appointments for me), and morphed into apologies and cuddly-time with still more seizures. So tired.

As the caregiver of an autistic epileptic young man, I almost always put his needs above my own. That is how I got my back problems (trying to catch a seizing 200 lb young man before he hits the ground during a seizure) and PTSD.

The stress and anxiety can become unbearable, so I started with all kinds of art in 2019 (after Weslee's stroke). Went from molding with cement and plaster of Paris, to UV and epoxy resins. Last year or two, I started making bookmarks, journals and keytags, and painting. 

Here's what I did today:

ĺ

I finished the marbling after I turned off the camera. Will use as a pic in one of my 'junk journal ephemera' books or as a keytag or...or maybe nothing.

Maybe more tomorrow. I really need to get back to writing. So many open projects.

.....

Please help with Weslee's medical expenses. Click here.  Thank you.

Grumpest Rumpest

Here is something you don't read about often: the mood / personality changes associated with seizure disorders.

(Does NOT effect everyone.)

Some go wild and hateful, while others become the most generous and loving person you have ever met. You can't predict them, and can't stop them. It goes along with the brain misfiring.

I can't use Weslee's massive mood swings to accurately predict a seizure's entrance, stage right ... ... but it definitely indicates an incoming ... something. 

My sweet young man becomes a cussing yelling grumpy tazmanian devil. 

Truly.

Then, a seizure, or cluster of seizures will rise up anywhere from a few minutes to a couple of days. That is when I need my books and art the most. To kinda hide while intently listening for seizures.

If I am lucky, a partial resemblance to my sweet boy will come back soon after. But honestly, I think the most thoughtful, caring and kind son is gone forever. It greatly saddens me.

But this personality transition happens AFTER his seizure clusters too.  Um... like today. I guess it was completely my fault when I asked him to empty the dishwasher and take out the trash. A humongous to-do. Thankfully, when he calmed down, he apologized and gave me a big ole hug.

I have heard of some people never reverting back to who they were. I try, but can't imagine.

Just my thoughts.

Key tags I recently finished / made while "hiding".

Vid Was An Oopsie

I didn't realize the videos I posted last night on YouTube had cut off my kid's head!  Here I kinda try to explain (hopefully the vid will show up ok ... or at all!)

Better pic of a stationery set, still in progress.

Restocked

I was finally able to pick up Weslee's seizure rescue nasal spray today. Only one box, so 2 doses, which won't last long the way things are going.

Still, grateful CVS fulfilled the order.

======

Sidenote: went to grocery on the way back home. Only had $35 so it didn't stretch far considering the price of almost everything was so much ... more. But the autistic part of him begs for Blue Machine juices as part of his weekend routine. (Complicated, which involves wearing specific clothing, using his correct pillow, etc.)

We just had a serious talk about tightening our belts because of increased prices. Even discussed getting quail again, mostly for eggs.

My book sales are very slowly picking up. Mostly my "The Bored Book". Hoping it continues to gain momentum.

And thankful I already have my art/craft supplies, so I did more painting yesterday. With input from a friend, decided to make ALL backgrounds for my bookmarks etc on the black shimmer paper, so need to redo that group tommorow.

After all of my errands today, my back is killing me. Heating pad...here I come!

V

Many Seizures so I Painted

Such a stressful Sunday. Many seizures of several different varieties, and used the last of his rescue nasal sprays. I put a call into CVS; I hope they get some to me quickly as his seizures have him afraid of the stairs again..

Once he got to sleep tonight (last night!?!), and stayed that way, I began to try to mitigate my stress.  And it worked... for a little while. I painted these cute circles. I plan to cut out (inner black circle only), attach front painting to back painting, laminate, punch, attach to a coiled wristlet, and sell (hopefully), along with matching bookmarks, junk journals, and more, etc.

========

What do you think? Eye-catching, or weird? Restful or ugh?

(If it doesn't load, here is the instagram link: https://www.instagram.com/p/DFU1vIxOD-G/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== )

========

I hope the video comes out okay.  If not, here are a couple of pictures of front sides of key tags. Enjoy!

My First Junk Journal

A Junk Journal is not exactly what the name implies. It has nothing to do with junk. It has everything to do with being able to express yourself, whether it's writing, decorating the pages, experimenting with different types of art, or just assembling things to make it look good and make you feel good.

So these are among my firsts, and includes shakers. Ignore the binder clips... I want them to dry closed.

So much fun, and a way to pass the time in the middle of the night when I stay awake to make sure I can hear seizures from my son!