Oct 30: Beyond Frustrated

Not sure how much more I can take. Listen for 3:44 min to get the gist.

Thank you.  Vikki and son, Weslee

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WESLEE'S birthday is almost here. He loves almost anything Spiderman. Size Men's Medium (USA).

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Weslee needs more brain surgeries for his seizures.  To help, please like, follow and share... PLUS .. please go to his Medical GoFundMe or to our Paypal ... AND please visit my etsy shop at www.etsy.com/shop/VikkiLawrenceShop .. 

For Weslee's regular and daily needs, please visit: Weslee Lawrence's Needs (WalMart) List.  Thank you.

Aug 17: Back to the Beginning

 Let's start back at the beginning, shall we?

Still experimenting with getting info from my brain to yours, like using this blog. 

Please like, subscribe, follow, share, comment, etc. It will help us.

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Weslee needs more brain surgeries for his seizures.  To help, please like, follow and share .. PLUS .. please go to his Medical GoFundMe or to our Paypal ... Thank you.

Jul 8: Off Topic: Film Hacksaw Ridge

This ties in to seizures and being a caregiver. Read on.

I have a list of movies that I want to watch when I get a chance. It keep getting longer, despite me keeping a tablet or TV constantly running something. 

Tonight, while browsing a streaming service for a title off my 'someday' list, I noticed 'Hacksaw Ridge' was finally available in my price range. Free.

Started it up for the noise and background entertainment while I worked on Weslee's pills for the week. Have to admit: I had to keep pausing it because I was sobbing so hard that I couldn't see the pill bottles in front of me.

Got me thinking a lot about wars, killing, and death. Naturally, my never-quiet-mind went there.

My inner dialogue:

Me.1: We were taught that killing was wrong.

Me.2: True, but what about 'holy wars' and the 'crusades'?

Me.1: Maybe some killing is ok? Dad was in the military. So was my current husband, and my wonderful nephew who has PTSD.

Me.2: Can I reconcile that in my heart? In my soul?

Me.1: Peeta, a character from The Hunger Games, had a great line when asked .. "so you won't kill?"  He responds, "I'm sure I will, like anybody else".

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As a mom of an epileptic young man who came seconds away from death in 2019, I fight hard every day to keep him alive. Surgeries. Doc appointments. Medications. Raising money. Favorite treats. Movies. Books about writing to keep his mind active. A/C to get him comfy. Taking the tantrums on the chin. PTSD.

Don't ask me if I would kill to save him.

You might not like my answer.

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ETA: I realize this post sounded a bit harsh so let me say a few more things...

• I loved loved loved this movie. I have since watched it another 7-8 times, seen over 10 "first time watching .. reacting" YoupTube vids, and sobbed each time.
• I didn't have a problem with the killing, explosions, or the cruelty of the story. It depicts war, of course, and those are very much a part of war. I had a problem with the hypocrisy of christianity vs murder/killing.
• Andrew Garfield was the only actor possible for this role. I still get goosebumps when his character converses with God before he hears someone calling out for a medic, and thus began his "one more" scene.
• Vince Vaughn and the other cast members were also incredibly talented. I didn't spot even a smidge of overacting. Amazing considering how many background actors participated.
• Mel Gibson is a visionary.  I am very sure he heard about what this Mr. Doss did... then it sat and niggled and tickled his mind, practically fully formed.

OK. I think that's it for now.

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Weslee needs more brain surgeries for his seizures.  To help, please like, follow and share .. PLUS .. please go to his Medical GoFundMe or to our Paypal ... Thank you.

Jun 18: Why I Am So Purple!

I have written bits and pieces about why I go by "That Purple Mom" but since I am in the process of revamping my epilepsy book series, thought I would add a bit more plus do a short vid.

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Here is a quick intro to why I am called "That Purple Mom". It begins and ends with my son.

Weslee.

His first seizure (that I know about) was a tonic clonic less than 30 days of him being diagnosed as autistic. Scared me so much that I can still hear and see it clearly in my mind, 14 years later.

Just like the smell of brain fluid never quite leaves your memory.

(We did discover that he had been having simple partial seizures for years. They presented as episodes of de ja vu, although many more than the average person. Every doctor that I mentioned it to poo-poo'd it. It wasn't until I researched seizures that the puzzle pieces clicked in to place.)

So many of us caregivers, especially when we are family members, get diagnosed with PTSD.

November 2013 (about 6 months after his first 2-step brain surgery), I decided to wear purple EVERY DAY to help promote awareness about seizures and epilepsy. People would comment about it, and I would give a quick sentence or two.

I always have purple on me, even when I was in the hospital (purple frames for my glasses and purple temp tattoos). It gets a tad tedious after all of these years, but it is nothing compared to people never knowing when a seizure will hit.

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My books are available on Amazon.com, or through here. Thank you for your support.

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Weslee needs more brain surgeries for his seizures.  To help, please like, follow and share .. PLUS .. please go to his Medical GoFundMe or to our Paypal ... Thank you.

June 11: An Embarrassing Situation

As a caregiver of someone with epilepsy, there are a few sounds we don't ever want to hear.

1. The thud of a body hitting the ground
2. The crunch of head hitting cement or a bathtub
3. A seizure alarm blasting loud enough to get our attention
4. The slurred speech of a person climbing out of a nasty seizure, like a tonic clonic (grand mal)
5. ..and what I awoke to yesterday: a seizure happening on the toilet, (or conversely, YOU on the toilet and you hear a big seizure happening in another room.)

Weslee really didn't want me coming into the bathroom to check on him, but I over-ruled him.

We already have heightened hearing for unusual sounds, but you want the person to at least appear to have privacy. You check but his body has fallen to the floor and you can't get the door open.

The epileptic will come back from seizure-land, embarrassed because going on the toilet is a very intimate situation .. pants down ... etc.

So... that was the start of our yesterday and it went down from there.  He had so many clusters that by early afternoon, he had taken two extra doses of a seizure med, and when they didn't work, his rescue nasal spray.

What an exhausting day.

He kept falling asleep. Couldn't resist snapping this pic.

P.S.: I solved the door thing by placing a big blackout curtain across the bathroom doorway. Door stays open, giving privacy, and it allows me to reach Weslee quickly.

Before we came up with that idea, he had a nasty tonic clonic behind a closed bathroom door, hitting his head on the tub on the way down. I couldn't move him (he blocked the doorway) but did reach around enough to pat his toe, try to talk reassuringly while watching a pool of blood spread.

A trip to the ER happened as soon as possible. He had broken his nose.

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Weslee needs more brain surgeries for his seizures.  To help, please like, follow and share .. PLUS .. please go to his Medical GoFundMe or to our Paypal ... Thank you.

May 8: My Body Betrays Me

Most days are filled with clusters of seizures, medicines, safety, etc.  Exhausting.

Sometimes, when the fog of seizures clears, even if only for a moment, Weslee can be so incredibly sweet, loving, kind, lucid, thoughtful .. my boy from 2010 is back, b.s. (Before Seizures).

He knows how I struggle with my own health issues .. from breast cancer to skin cancer to degenerating crumpling spine, bleeding problems, and more. 

When he is in the 'kindness' zone, it is the little things that matters. When my back hurts so much that I can't stand up, he runs to get me his second walking cane. 

When my bleeding problem spills over, and my body is covered in bruises in various stages, he offers to help however he can. 

When my PTSD-induced insomnia keeps me up all night, he lets me sleep during the day. (Although, even sound asleep, I still hear him having seizures, get him a rescue drug, and make sure he is safe). 

And when a migraine attacks, like the one I currently have had for nearly a week and am fairly blind from the pain, he keeps the sound down on videos he watches and helps to keep light out of my bedroom.

As caregivers, we are told to take care of ourselves first, but who, in real life, could do that?  Shall I tell Weslee 'you can't have a tonic clonic seizure right now. I have a migraine and need a nap.'  ..  Uh, what?

Be kind to the caregivers. If you aren't one, you will never understand what we go through. And if you ARE one, take a breath. It's allowed!

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Weslee's Medical GoFundMe and our Paypal ... Thank you.